Sex, drugs and Rock'N'Roll
by Ratwoman01
Summary: Dumbledore wants each house to stage "something Muggleish" at the end of the year. Will the Slytherins suceed in staging "something Muggleish" and still make a point of what they are?


Disclaimer: They're not mine, I just borrowed them   
  
because I thought they deserve to have some fun.  
  
Category: Humour  
  
Ratings: PG-13?  
  
Pairing: SS/JP, SS/LM, JP/LE, LM/LE  
  
Summary: To break down the hostilities towards Muggles,   
  
Dumbledore opens a competition: each of the four houses   
  
is to stage something Muggleish. Can the Slytherins   
  
succeed in staging "something Muggleish" and still make a   
  
point of what they are?  
  
Sex, Drugs and Rock'n'Roll  
  
By Ratwoman  
  
Ratwoman@unicum.de  
  
"We've as good as won!" Sirius said, while putting   
  
another portion of mashed potatoes onto his plate.  
  
Two months ago Headmaster Dumbledore had opened a   
  
competition: To get over the hostilities and reservations   
  
towards Muggles, each of the four houses was to stage   
  
"something Muggleish" during the last two days of the   
  
term. Now, the time had come; Gryffindor had been the   
  
first house to stage the show they had prepared. They had   
  
decided to stage the Arthurian legend. James had been   
  
King Arthur, Lily Gwenwyfar, Sirius of course Lancelot,   
  
Remus was Merlin, and Peter was Gawain. It had been a   
  
huge success.   
  
Even the Slytherins had applauded, if only reluctantly.   
  
Afterwards the Hufflepuffs had played some scenes of   
  
Tolkiens The Hobbit. It had been nice, but not as exiting   
  
as King Arthur.  
  
This morning, it had been the Ravenclaws turn; they had   
  
chosen an immensely sophisticated play Samuel Becket.   
  
Most had been bored.   
  
Remus leaned back and listened to his friends'   
  
discussion.  
  
"Um, Padfoot, the Slytherins haven't been on stage yet."   
  
James replied.  
  
"Aw, they hate Muggles, I wouldn't be surprised if they   
  
refuse to stage anything." Sirius said. "And if, they   
  
won't be very eager, so, I think we've won."  
  
Lily smiled. "I wouldn't be so sure, they're so   
  
ambitious, they will even try to win at something they   
  
despise."   
  
"They are going to stage something, that much is   
  
certain." Peter threw in. "I overheard Snape and Malfoy   
  
talking about it."  
  
"What did they say?" Sirius and James asked at the same   
  
time.  
  
"Malfoy told Snape not to get performance anxiety now."   
  
Peter frowned. "And then Snape answered that he can't   
  
walk in those high-heels."  
  
"Huh?"   
  
"I must have misheard him." Peter said, shaking his head.   
  
"I guess so." Sirius said, looking confused.   
  
Remus smiled. Whatever it was the Slytherins were about   
  
to stage, he was looking forward to it. Slytherins were   
  
quite creative, it certainly would be interesting.   
  
*  
  
At seven in the evening, the school assembled in the   
  
Great Hall, which had been transformed into a Theatre for   
  
these occasions.   
  
James sat down with his friends in one row. The   
  
Slytherins had been really secretive about what they were   
  
going to stage. There were rumours going from Satanic   
  
Rituals to a sit-in.  
  
Before the curtain lifted, Lucius Malfoy stepped onto the   
  
stage, wearing a long cloak covering him from the neck to   
  
the feet.   
  
"Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen," he said when the   
  
crowd had silenced down. "Unfortunately, we don't have   
  
enough actors for the musical we want to stage, so we   
  
need two volunteers. Don't worry, we arranged that you   
  
will sing playback." Lucius smiled his icy smile.   
  
James wondered. Not enough actors? In the whole Slytherin   
  
house? There definitively was something wrong.  
  
"James, Lily," Lucius' smile became even icier. "Would   
  
you please?"  
  
James was about to say no when Lily smiled and raised to   
  
her feet. "Certainly." she said.  
  
"Lily!" James hissed.   
  
"Scared?" she whispered. James sighed and followed her.   
  
Sometimes it worried him that she could play him like a   
  
flute.   
  
"Follow me." Lucius said and went off stage. James felt   
  
like he was walking open-eyed into a trap.   
  
A small nervous looking boy went passed them onto the   
  
stage as they left. James heard him declaring from the   
  
other side of the curtain. Obviously he was the narrator.   
  
"Which musical are you going to stage?" Lily asked   
  
openly.  
  
"The Rocky Horror Show." Lucius replied.   
  
A huge grin spread on Lily's face. "And we are Brad and   
  
Janet, right?"   
  
"Yes," Lucius replied and drew his wand. "Don't worry,"   
  
he said, "I'm just putting a spell on you that will make   
  
you see on your inner eye the lines you have to say."   
  
James was nervous, but didn't move as Lucius waved his   
  
wand and murmured a few words.   
  
Ok, he had not grown a second head or something.   
  
"Oh, and could you please put off the playback for me?"   
  
Lily said. "I'm a big Karaoke fan, you know?"   
  
"Ok," Lucius said. After a pause he added, addressing   
  
Lily: "We skipped the beginning with your engagement, it   
  
will start with you walking through the rain towards the   
  
castle. Oh, before I forget..." Lucius waved his wand   
  
another time and James and Lily were dressed in Muggle   
  
clothes. "Now, get onto the stage!"  
  
"But..." James felt much more anxiety than before their   
  
own play. Then, he had at least known what it was about.   
  
"OUT!" Lucius ordered and gave them a shove.   
  
The boy who was the narrator was still on stage when they   
  
entered, saying his last few lines: "- but they being   
  
normal kids and on a night out - well - they were not   
  
going to let a storm spoil the events of their evening.  
  
On a night out... It was a night out they were to   
  
remember for a very - long - time."  
  
The boy went off stage and the curtain raised, revealing   
  
a second curtain at about the half of the stage,   
  
depicting the outlines of a castle. From somewhere James   
  
heard music playing and voices singing:  
  
"There's a light  
  
Over at the Frankenstein place  
  
There's a light  
  
Burning in the fireplace"   
  
James was barely listening to the lyrics, as he was too   
  
annoyed about the water dripping down from the ceiling,   
  
obviously pretending that it was raining. Did they have   
  
to make the show that realistic? Of course, it was just   
  
raining on him and Lily.   
  
When the music faded, Lily said to James' amazement:   
  
"Brad, let's go back, I'm cold and I'm frightened..."  
  
Then he understood, as he suddenly saw his answering   
  
lines written in the air before him: "Just a moment   
  
Janet, they might have a phone."  
  
They knocked at a door that was standing in the middle of   
  
the stage. From offstage, William Lestrange entered; but   
  
he didn't look like the usual pretty Slytherin he was: he   
  
had a huge hunch on his back, grey, tangled hair and a   
  
greyish skin. Lestrange opened the door, looking rather   
  
hostile at them and said: "Hello?"  
  
James read out the text he suddenly saw in the air: "Hi!   
  
My name is Brad Majors, and this is my fiancée, Janet   
  
Weiss. I wonder if you could help us. You see, our car   
  
broke down a few miles up the road... do you have a phone   
  
we might use?"  
  
Lily perfectly played her role, clinging with a scared   
  
expression to James' arm as they were led "inside" and   
  
told that the master was having some kind of party this   
  
night.   
  
Vivienne Doors, Lestrange's girlfriend, came onto the   
  
stage, dressed in a rather short housemaid's uniform,   
  
making some odd joke about everybody being happy.   
  
Suddenly, Lestrange started singing:  
  
"It's astounding;  
  
Time is fleeting;  
  
Madness takes its toll.  
  
But listen closely  
  
Not for very much longer.  
  
I've got to keep control."  
  
Now his voice grew louder and shriller:  
  
"But I remember doing the time-warp  
  
Drinking those moments when  
  
The blackness would hit me  
  
And a void would be calling..."  
  
Here the second curtain lifted and about everyone from   
  
the Slytherin house from Fourth Year upwards was on   
  
stage, wearing nothing but black lacquer or leather   
  
fetish ...somethings. James gaped at them in shock; he   
  
also heard surprised gasped from the audience, while they   
  
were shouting:  
  
"Let's do the time-warp again.  
  
Let's do the time-warp again."  
  
The dance they were showing looked rather rude,   
  
especially the way they moved their hips forwards and   
  
backwards at the chorus.   
  
James looked at Lily. She pretended to look shocked, but   
  
actually she was hiding a grin behind the hands she had   
  
clasped before her face.  
  
"But it's the pelvic thrust  
  
that really drives you insa-ane"  
  
One particular Slytherin girl who James knew as rather   
  
shy surprised him by walking to the front of the stage   
  
for a short solo:  
  
"Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think  
  
When this snake of a guy gave me an evil wink.  
  
He shook me up, he took me by surprise  
  
He had a pickup truck, and the devil's eyes.  
  
He stared at me and I felt a change.  
  
Time meant nothing, never would again."  
  
Snake of a guy? Devil's eyes? James started to understand   
  
why they had chosen this particular musical.   
  
"Brad, do something!" Lily said in perfectly faked   
  
anxiety when the dance was finished.   
  
"Say, do any of your guys know how to Madison?" James had   
  
to be careful not to burst out laughing at his lines, but   
  
it got even better: "They're probably foreigners with   
  
ways different than our own. They may do some   
  
more...folk dancing."  
  
God, this was kind of funny!  
  
Then, a door at the back of the stage opened and in came   
  
- Snape! He was wearing a long coat similar to the one   
  
Malfoy had been wearing.  
  
"How do you do, I  
  
See you've met my   
  
Faithful handyman." he sang while lazily walking up to   
  
them.  
  
James did not listen to the next few lines, as he was too   
  
surprised that Snape's hair looked rather fine, as if he   
  
had washed it recently. And his deep voice was really   
  
sexy.  
  
"Don't get strung out by the way I look.  
  
Don't judge a book by its cover."  
  
Snape was close to them now. Was he really wearing eye-  
  
liner? Now he turned to Lily/Janet and sung to her,   
  
wriggling his eyebrows:  
  
"I'm not much of a man by the light of day  
  
But by night I'm one hell of a lover."  
  
James felt blood rushing to his cheeks. Was that   
  
jealousy? Or rather...?   
  
Suddenly Snape threw off his coat. James shrieked back in   
  
shock. Seemed like the Slytherins wouldn't cease to   
  
surprise him: Snape was wearing black fish-net stockings   
  
with suspenders (hmm, why had James never noticed how   
  
long his legs were?) high-heeled shoes, a corset, and   
  
something black that was so short that James was not sure   
  
whether it still counted as underwear.   
  
Again, James heard gasps from the audience.   
  
"I'm just a sweet transvestite  
  
From Transsexual, Transylvania."  
  
*  
  
Remus was enjoying this show immensely. He was partly   
  
Muggle, so he was one of the few people here who knew the   
  
Rocky Horror Show. He just had never guessed that Snape   
  
would make a good Frank N Furter. But he was just   
  
perfect. All his movements were so sensual, and the   
  
outfit... Suddenly Remus felt hot.  
  
"That he's not ashamed!" Sirius whispered next to him.   
  
Remus glanced at him, but Sirius was staring with utter   
  
fascination at the stage. Remus smirked and returned his   
  
attention onto the musical.  
  
After Brad/James had said his lines about having trouble   
  
with their car and just wanting to use his phone, Snape,   
  
to James' most obvious horrors, wrapped his arms around   
  
both James' and Lily's waists, singing :  
  
"Well you got caught with a flat, well, how 'bout that?  
  
Well, babies, don't you panic."  
  
Remus giggled. The request not to panic never had been more   
  
adequate, judging from the look of terror on James' face.  
  
  
  
"By the light of the night it'll all seem alright.  
  
I'll get you a satanic mechanic."  
  
  
  
Remus grinned when Magenta/Vivienne and Columbia snuggled   
  
up on Frank/Snape as he sang:   
  
"Why don't you stay for the night?"  
  
Magenta hissed: "night" and licked along Snape's neck.  
  
"Or maybe a bite?"  
  
Columbia said: "Bite" and bit Snape's shoulder.  
  
"I can show you my favourite obsession..."  
  
They all appeared so wonderfully decadent!  
  
Remus let his gaze travel over the faces in the audience.   
  
Especially the ones who were not Muggle-born were   
  
watching with a kind of disbelieving fascination. He   
  
glanced at the teachers' row. Dumbledore was looking   
  
amused, but Professor McGonagall had clasped her hands   
  
before her mouth, staring wide-eyed at the stage.  
  
*   
  
James had just recovered from the shock of seeing Snape   
  
in stockings, when the back part of the stage was covered   
  
by a curtain again, while Riff-Raff/Lestrange and   
  
Magenta/Vivienne were starting to get them out of their   
  
wet clothes.   
  
His consternation was not played when they left them in   
  
their underwear and then lifted the second curtain to   
  
lead them to the laboratory.  
  
"Well! How nice. And what charming underclothes you   
  
both have." said Frank/Snape as if every day people were   
  
walking around in underwear in his castle. "But here.   
  
Put these on." James was really relieved when Frank/Snape   
  
gave them bathrobes. "They'll make you feel less...   
  
vulnerable. It's not often we receive visitors here, let   
  
alone offer them" he paused. "...hospitality."  
  
Again, he saw his text in the air before him:   
  
"Hospitality!? All we wanted to do was to use your   
  
telephone, Goddammit, a reasonable request which you've   
  
chosen to ignore!"   
  
Taking a step forward, Frank/Snape said: "How forceful   
  
you are, Brad." Laying a hand on his chest, he added in   
  
an obscene voice: "Such a perfect specimen of manhood.   
  
So..." raising his eye-brows, "...dominant." James stared   
  
in shock at Snape.   
  
*  
  
Remus watched with amusement the laboratory scene. Of   
  
course, it was quite clear that the Slytherins did really   
  
have enough actors, but taking two "volunteers" from   
  
another house for the roles of Brad and Janet was a   
  
brilliant idea. It successfully demonstrated how out of   
  
place the two of them were. Especially James was great,   
  
despite, or because he was not acting. He really WAS   
  
confused and had no clue what would come next or what to   
  
make of Snape's flirtations.  
  
Snape played the mad scientist in a way that could also   
  
be interpreted as a Dark Wizard, someone like Salazar   
  
Slytherin. Looking with an empty face into the air, eyes   
  
glowing, voice trembling, he said :   
  
"..and that's how I discovered the secret, that elusive   
  
ingredient, that SPARK that is the breath of life..."  
  
His voice grew higher and shriller, ecstatic :"Yes, I   
  
have that knowledge! I hold the secret! to life itself!"  
  
Though, Salazar Slytherin probably had never looked so  
  
sexy in fishnet stockings !  
  
Remus leaned forwards with interest when Rocky, covered   
  
in linen, was turned alive. Who'd play Rocky?  
  
Rocky moved and tore off the linen, revealing - Lucius   
  
Malfoy. Rocky/Lucius stood up, shaking his long blonde   
  
hair. He was wearing nothing but very short golden   
  
knickers.   
  
He was playing a quite different Rocky than the one Remus   
  
had seen in Muggle theatres; when Frank/Snape was chasing   
  
him through the laboratory, Rocky/Lucius did not appear   
  
to be scared by his maker, rather that he was taunting   
  
him to catch him. Finally Frank/Snape got his creature,   
  
pushed him against a wall and pressed a whip under his   
  
chin, saying: "Well really. That's no way to behave on   
  
your first day out. But since you're such an exceptional   
  
beauty, I am prepared to forgive you."  
  
Oh yeah, Lucius really was an exceptional beauty. Milk   
  
white skin, well-defined muscles... no wonder that   
  
Frank/Snape doted so much on him.   
  
Remus grinned when Wilkes, a huge, rather ugly Slytherin,   
  
entered the stage as Eddie, riding on a motor-bike.   
  
"Did they steal my motor-bike?" Sirius hissed.  
  
"Um, no, I'm sure it's another one." Remus replied.   
  
Actually, he was not sure, but he better didn't tell   
  
Padfoot, or he'd run onto the stage and make a scene.   
  
Eddie/Wilkes threw a quite good Rock'n'Roll show,   
  
until Frank/Snape chased him off stage and came back   
  
with a bloody axe.  
  
"Don't be upset... It was a mercy killing..."  
  
Frank/Snape said more to the audience than to Rocky.  
  
"Of course, the Slytherins approve of that !" Sirius   
  
hissed.  
  
"Always keep fiction and reality apart." Remus   
  
answered, not taking his eyes off the stage.  
  
"he had a certain naive charm," Frank/Snape said,   
  
"but no muscle..."  
  
  
  
The Music of "I can make you a man" was played again,   
  
and snuggling up to Rocky/Lucius, Frank/Snape sang :  
  
"But a deltoid and a bicep.  
  
A hot groin"  
  
Even Remus coughed in surprise, when Snape's hand cupped   
  
Lucius groin,   
  
" and a tricep.  
  
Makes me, ..., shake,  
  
Makes me want to take Charles Atlas by the...ha-ha-hand."  
  
  
  
Remus grinned at the following "marriage scene" of Frank  
  
and Rocky. Magenta/Vivienne and Riff-Raff/Lestrange opened   
  
a small curtain hiding a four-poster bed, but on the   
  
way there Snape twist his ankle in his high-heels and   
  
almost fell. Lucius reacted quickly, caught Snape and   
  
carried him over the threshold.   
  
The curtain fell.   
  
*  
  
James was standing confused on the stage after the   
  
curtain fell. Was the musical already over? He hoped so,   
  
mostly because the sight of Lucius being almost naked had   
  
made him hard, but then a few second and third year   
  
Slytherins came on stage, levitating two beds behind them   
  
and put them down in a position that the second curtain   
  
could hide them if needed.  
  
Lucius and Snape levitated the four-poster bed offstage,   
  
then James was told: "Lie down in that bed and pretend to   
  
be sleeping!"   
  
James did what he was told, seeing Lily lying down in the   
  
other bed. The curtain raised and James closed his eyes.   
  
He heard Lily and Snape talking; it sounded as if Snape,   
  
alias Frank, was trying to seduce Lily, er, Janet. James   
  
felt anger welling up but forced himself not to move.   
  
After all, this was only a play, not reality.  
  
Then suddenly Snape was over him, saying in a high   
  
voice(pretending to be Janet): "Oh, Brad darling, it's no   
  
good here. It'll destroy us."  
  
James said his lines: "Don't worry Janet, we'll be away   
  
from here in the morning.", but inwardly he cringed. What   
  
was he to do in a bed with Snape?  
  
Snape, alias Frank, alias Janet replied: "Oh, Brad you're   
  
so strong and protective."  
  
"YOU!" James called. Would this charade find an end now?   
  
In his normal voice, Frank/Snape answered: "I'm afraid   
  
so, Brad, but isn't it nice..."  
  
Actually, Snape looked amazingly sexy, as he was   
  
straddling his hips, looking down at him with an evil   
  
smile. On no, the erection James had had earlier regrew!  
  
"Why YOU! What have you done with Janet?"  
  
"Nothing." Frank/Snape replied: "Why? Do you think I   
  
should?" That was so much something Snape would say!  
  
"You tricked me, I wouldn't have...I've never   
  
never...never..." Never, indeed.  
  
"Oh Yes yes, I know...but it isn't all bad, is it? Not   
  
even half bad, I think you really quite enjoyed it."   
  
Snape purred. "Oh come on, Brad, admit it, you liked it,   
  
didn't you? There's no crime in giving yourself over to   
  
pleasure, Brad. Oh Brad, you've wasted so much time   
  
already..."  
  
James wasn't able to hold himself back any longer. He   
  
grabbed Snape at the back of his head and pulled him   
  
down, catching his lips in a wild kiss. He saw Snape's   
  
eyes widen in surprise as he pushed his tongue into his   
  
mouth to explore every cavice, while his hands moved down   
  
Snape's back to his almost bare buttocks.   
  
After a much too short time Snape withdrew, whispering:   
  
"Much as I feel flattered by your sudden enthusiasm, the   
  
show must go on."   
  
James looked up. The inner curtain had fallen, hiding the   
  
two beds. Lily's/Janet's bed was already being brought   
  
away, while Lily looked in open anger and jealousy at   
  
James and Snape.  
  
"I was just playing my role." James said.  
  
"That's not how it looked like!" Lily hissed.  
  
Snape stood up and stalked off. Lucius went to the   
  
curtain to the outer part of the stage, telling Lily:   
  
"It's our scene now."   
  
Lily strutted on stage with a highly raised head.   
  
James watched the Janet/Rocky scene through a gap in the   
  
curtain. Lily was singing:  
  
"I was feeling done in, couldn't win  
  
I'd only ever kissed before.  
  
I thought there's no use getting  
  
Into heavy petting  
  
It only leads to trouble  
  
And seat wetting."  
  
James grinned: that wasn't quite true. Then Janet/Lily   
  
turned to Rocky/Lucius and sung in a challenging way:  
  
"Now all I want to know is how to go.  
  
I've tasted blood and I want more.  
  
I'll put up no resistance  
  
I want to stay the distance  
  
I've got an itch to scratch  
  
I need assistance."  
  
To James horrors she leaned with her back against Lucius,   
  
rubbing her body against him while she was singing:  
  
"Toucha toucha toucha touch me  
  
I want to be dirty  
  
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me  
  
Creature of the night."  
  
Did she have to overact like that just because he had   
  
felt tempted by Snape for a moment?  
  
"Then if anything grows, while you pose,  
  
I'll oil you up and rub you down."  
  
Lily turned around and moved her fingers over Lucius bare   
  
chest. The Slytherin was looking slightly puzzled at her   
  
eager performance.  
  
"And that's just one small fraction   
  
of the main attraction  
  
You need a friendly hand and I need action.  
  
Toucha toucha toucha touch me  
  
I want to be dirty  
  
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me  
  
Creature of the night."  
  
When Lucius ran his hands down Lily's back, James was   
  
about to storm onto the stage, but Snape held him back.  
  
"That's just part of the show." Snape reminded him.   
  
"But..."   
  
Snape grinned. "Lily really goes. Guess she's angry   
  
because of your... performance."   
  
James angrily wanted to reply something, but then, Snape   
  
looked so seductive when he was grinning. James quickly   
  
took a few steps away.   
  
*  
  
Remus smirked when he noticed with what an enthusiasm   
  
James and Lily were taking part in the seduction-scenes.   
  
Well, no wonder, Severus and Lucius really looked like a   
  
wet dream come true in their costumes.   
  
Dr. Scott was played by Avery, but with his long white   
  
beard he looked much like Albus Dumbledore in a   
  
wheelchair. Remus cast a glance at the headmaster, but   
  
Dumbledore was still smiling in amusement.  
  
Remus thought, the Slytherins could hardly have chosen a   
  
better musical. The Transsexual Transylvanians seemed to   
  
incorporate everything that was rumoured about the   
  
Slytherins.   
  
"I knew he was in with a bad crowd, but it was worse than   
  
I imagined...Aliens!" Remus grinned. He had half-expected   
  
Scott/Avery to say Slytherins instead of Aliens, but they   
  
didn't go so far.   
  
Remus cast a glance at Sirius at a few lines from the   
  
song about Eddie:  
  
"From the day he was born   
  
all he wanted  
  
was Rock'n'Roll, porn,  
  
and a motorbike"  
  
That was something one could say as well about Sirius.   
  
Well, the rest was more descriptive of a typical   
  
Slytherin kid:  
  
"When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy  
  
You knew he was a no-good kid.  
  
But when he threatened your life   
  
with a switch-blade knife"  
  
"What a guy!" Frank/Snape called out enthusiastically.  
  
"Makes you cry." Janet/Lily threw in.  
  
"Und I did." Dr. Scott.  
  
When Brad, Janet, Rocky and Columbia were brought off   
  
stage to prepare for the floor show Remus wondered how   
  
James and Lily would take it to have to wear suspenders.  
  
*  
  
"I won't wear that!" James called.  
  
"C'mon." Lily said. Dammit, even Lily was on their side.   
  
"I won't wear that!" James repeated stubbornly.   
  
Lily just shrugged and went into a dressing room with the   
  
black underwear, the fish-net stockings and the   
  
suspenders they had given her. James sighed and went into   
  
the other changing room. He hardly had a choice, it would   
  
look cowardly when he backed out.   
  
James had the feeling that he looked terribly ridiculous   
  
in that stuff when he came out again. Lily didn't look   
  
like his Lily at all, but kind of... sexy.  
  
James swallowed hard and followed Columbia, Lucius and   
  
Lily onto the stage.   
  
At first Columbia was singing her solo, then Lucius,   
  
alias Rocky, stepped forward:  
  
"I'm just seven hours old,  
  
And truly beautiful to behold."  
  
Aw, no, James noticed that looking at Lucius made him   
  
hard again. Unfortunately, that little underwear was not   
  
hiding it.   
  
With a rude movement of his hips, Rocky/Lucius added:  
  
"And somebody should be told  
  
My libido hasn't been controlled."  
  
Oh yeah, James could imagine.  
  
"Now the only thing I've come to trust  
  
Is an orgasmic rush of lust.  
  
Rose tints my world and keeps me safe from my trouble and   
  
pain."  
  
Now the playback for James came to use. James tried to   
  
pretend to be singing while he wondered why he didn't   
  
have such a cool text as Lucius:  
  
"It's beyond me; help me Mommy!  
  
I'll be good; you'll see.  
  
Take this dream away.  
  
What's this? Let's see,  
  
I feel sexy!  
  
What's come over me?  
  
Wo! Here it comes again."  
  
Lily was walking challengingly forwards, moving her hips   
  
in a way she usually never did:  
  
"I feel released; bad times decease.  
  
My confidence has increased; reality is here."  
  
*  
  
Remus was surprised about Lily, she usually seemed to be   
  
rather ... decent, but now she looked like a real Vamp.  
  
James also looked cute in black fishnet-stockings and   
  
velvet underwear. His confusion at what was happening   
  
added a certain naive charme to his performance.  
  
Then the inner curtain lifted and all the Slytherins   
  
appeared on the stage again, singing:  
  
"We're a wild and an untamed thing.  
  
We're bees with a deadly sting.  
  
You get a hit and your mind goes ping.  
  
Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing.  
  
So let the party and the sounds rock on.  
  
We're gonna shake it 'till the life has gone.  
  
Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and   
  
pain."  
  
Remus grinned. Really, very adequate, that they'd chosen   
  
to perform the Rocky Horror Show.   
  
"Am I the only one who suddenly wants to be one of them?"   
  
Peter asked in a longing voice.  
  
Sirius looked undignified at Peter: "You must be joking!"   
  
he replied. Remus chuckled. Sirius wouldn't admit it even   
  
if it was written on his forehead.   
  
After they'd sung and danced for a while, Riff-  
  
Raff/Lestrange and Magenta/Vivienne entered the stage.   
  
Other than in the Muggle theatres, they were not wearing   
  
futuristic clothes, but grey robes with violet belts.   
  
"Aren't that Auror uniforms?" Peter asked.  
  
Remus smiled and nodded his head, while Riff-  
  
Raff/Lestrange announced:   
  
"Frank N Furter, it's all over.  
  
Your mission is a failure;  
  
Your lifestyle's too extreme.  
  
I'm your new commander;  
  
You now are my prisoner.  
  
We return to Transylvania.  
  
Prepare the transit beam."  
  
They staged the killing scene very dramatically. Columbia   
  
threw herself before Frank/Snape and was shot with pink   
  
light (Lestrange obviously was hiding his wand in what   
  
looked like a laser pistol.)  
  
Frank, alias Snape, was chased by Riff-Raff/Lestrange   
  
across the stage before being shot, then Lucius as Rocky   
  
knelt down beside his dead creator, screaming in pain and   
  
rage, before he got shot.   
  
"You did the right thing. Society has to be protected."   
  
Dr Scott/Avery said.   
  
Well, they could hardly become any more obvious. Two   
  
Auror-like persons killed Frank and his friends, and an   
  
unsympathetic character like Dr. Scott approved of it.   
  
Remus was quite fascinated about the Slytherins   
  
creativity.   
  
*  
  
"And crawling on the planet's face  
  
Some insects, called the human race...  
  
Lost in time, and lost in space,  
  
And meaning."   
  
With those words spoken by the boy who played the   
  
narrator the curtain fell.   
  
James was relieved, but also a bit sad that it was over.   
  
He watched Snape slipping out of his high-heels with a   
  
pain-contorted face, asking Vivienne: "How can you walk   
  
with those?"   
  
"With a lot of practice," she answered with a smile.   
  
Lucius Malfoy was standing at the curtain, looking   
  
nervous. "They're so quiet!" he said.   
  
Paling, the Slytherins noticed that there was no   
  
applause. Then suddenly, the house seemed to burst with   
  
loud clapping sounds. The applaud seemed to never want to   
  
die down when they re-entered the stage and bowed.  
  
*  
  
Breakfast, the next day.   
  
Dumbledore was to give out the points for the plays   
  
today.   
  
Sirius looked scowling at his plate, eating nothing.  
  
James smirked. "You don't seem to be so sure anymore that   
  
Gryffindor won the competition, Padfoot?"  
  
"Nah, Slytherin was just too cool."  
  
James swallowed. Had Sirius really just admitted that the   
  
Slytherins had been better than they? Then the end of the   
  
world must be nigh.  
  
"I wish Dumbledore was more of a prude." Sirius said.   
  
"Then we'd have a chance, but so..."  
  
James cast a glance at the Slytherin table. Snape was all   
  
his old self again, his hair a mess. Yet there was   
  
something sensual about his angular features... why had   
  
James never noticed before yesterday?   
  
James blushed and looked away as he remembered how eager   
  
he had been in the seduction scene.   
  
Dumbledore stood up and announced:   
  
"We're going to give out the points for the competition   
  
now. Ravenclaw, for their sophisticated performance of   
  
Samuel Becket's Not I: 20 points."  
  
Everyone politely clapped their hands.  
  
"Hufflepuff, for their amusing performance of scenes from   
  
the Hobbit: 30 points."  
  
Clap, clap.  
  
"Gryffindor, for their performance of the Arthurian Legend: 40 points."  
  
Sirius nodded his head. "Second place, as I told you."  
  
"And Slytherin, for their stunning performance of the   
  
Rocky Horror Show, 50 points."  
  
Everyone applauded, though a bit forced. The show had   
  
been amazing, but still no one really liked the   
  
Slytherins.   
  
"With that, this Year's House Cup goes to Slytherin!"   
  
James watched Snape and the other Slytherins cheering at   
  
their victory. He forced himself to smile. Gryffindor   
  
couldn't always win.  
  
***  
  
The end 


End file.
